Shockwave

this is the roughdraft of my very first story ever hope you enjoy it and if it's good and you want to be in it plz post here or pm me (i suggest you put it here)


this is a story of a man who calls himself Shockwave he can control electricity but he is not a super hero or a super villain in fact he saves people but if they do 1 thing to make him mad he kills them (examples news reporters that say bad stuff about him) it's hard to explain i'll just start the roughdraft.

In a dark alley a young girl screams as a few men are chasing after her one of the guys (guy #1)pulls out a gun "You either come with us or i'll shoot you right here and now" the young girl screams for help and guy #2 says "There is not 1 person who can heere you right now so i suggest not to scream" all of a sudden a man jumps down the man says "You leave her alone or i'll kill you all right now" one of the other guys says "We've got a gun so i suggest you run along and not speak a word of this unless you want a bullet through your head" the man walks over to one of the guys with a gun and says "Last chance leave now or i'll kill all 3 of you right now" the 3 other guys just start to laugh and guy #3 says "You're funny you think you can take all 3 of us by yourself" the guy walks up to guy #3 opens his hand and a large burst of electricity shoots out from his hand and he blasts guy #3. Guy #2 tries to run but the other guy also blasts him and guy #1 shoots the gun and the random guy grabs the bullet with his electrical powers and said "I gave you 2 chances to run now this is personal" the guy picks guy #1 up by the throat and brutally crushes his neck. The random guy then grabs the girl and runs away and he says "Don't ever go out into the street by youself again how dumb can you be you know how brutal it is at night" the girl looks at him and says "Yes i know i was going home until they ambushed me" the guy says "Just don't do it again now run along get out of here the girl says "Wait 1 question who are you" the guy just says "Shockwave" then walks away

grumpygrinch wrote:

In a dark alley a young girl screams as a few men are chasing after her one of the guys (guy #1)pulls out a gun "You either come with us or i'll shoot you right here and now" the young girl screams for help and guy #2 says "There is not 1 person who can heere you right now so i suggest not to scream" all of a sudden a man jumps down the man says "You leave her alone or i'll kill you all right now" one of the other guys says "We've got a gun so i suggest you run along and not speak a word of this unless you want a bullet through your head" the man walks over to one of the guys with a gun and says "Last chance leave now or i'll kill all 3 of you right now" the 3 other guys just start to laugh and guy #3 says "You're funny you think you can take all 3 of us by yourself" the guy walks up to guy #3 opens his hand and a large burst of electricity shoots out from his hand and he blasts guy #3. Guy #2 tries to run but the other guy also blasts him and guy #1 shoots the gun and the random guy grabs the bullet with his electrical powers and said "I gave you 2 chances to run now this is personal" the guy picks guy #1 up by the throat and brutally crushes his neck. The random guy then grabs the girl and runs away and he says "Don't ever go out into the street by youself again how dumb can you be you know how brutal it is at night" the girl looks at him and says "Yes i know i was going home until they ambushed me" the guy says "Just don't do it again now run along get out of here the girl says "Wait 1 question who are you" the guy just says "Shockwave" then walks away

Wow.... no periods to end your sentences....Needs ALOT of work.

DarkusPhoenix wrote:

grumpygrinch wrote:

In a dark alley a young girl screams as a few men are chasing after her one of the guys (guy #1)pulls out a gun "You either come with us or i'll shoot you right here and now" the young girl screams for help and guy #2 says "There is not 1 person who can heere you right now so i suggest not to scream" all of a sudden a man jumps down the man says "You leave her alone or i'll kill you all right now" one of the other guys says "We've got a gun so i suggest you run along and not speak a word of this unless you want a bullet through your head" the man walks over to one of the guys with a gun and says "Last chance leave now or i'll kill all 3 of you right now" the 3 other guys just start to laugh and guy #3 says "You're funny you think you can take all 3 of us by yourself" the guy walks up to guy #3 opens his hand and a large burst of electricity shoots out from his hand and he blasts guy #3. Guy #2 tries to run but the other guy also blasts him and guy #1 shoots the gun and the random guy grabs the bullet with his electrical powers and said "I gave you 2 chances to run now this is personal" the guy picks guy #1 up by the throat and brutally crushes his neck. The random guy then grabs the girl and runs away and he says "Don't ever go out into the street by youself again how dumb can you be you know how brutal it is at night" the girl looks at him and says "Yes i know i was going home until they ambushed me" the guy says "Just don't do it again now run along get out of here the girl says "Wait 1 question who are you" the guy just says "Shockwave" then walks away

Wow.... no periods to end your sentences....Needs ALOT of work.

like i said roughdraft i don't usually do grammer in it.